My thoughts about marriage: Japan & Switzerland

Do I want to marry?

Disclaimer:
This article is revised and was originally published 2016, March 20.

Tradition vs modern age

Some people prefer a traditional ceremony and marriage. I am not against marriages and ceremonies. Don’t get me wrong, but there are many things to consider. I am not the person who wants to run into something without checking the law and consequences. 

Others prefer to flexibly decide by themselves. Some want a ceremony, without marriage, or vice versa, a marriage without a ceremony, or neither. The key is to be honest and open to yourself and to your partner. Also, do not forget that life is all about learning by doing. Sometimes you might think that Plan A is the right one, then you start preparing and think about Plan A more critically once you have more information, and then find than maybe Plan B makes you happier. Talk with your partner about it.

Rights of a spouse

I know that women are still not equally treated, not in Switzerland, not in Japan. The pension is just one example. A married couple receives 150% of the rent in total. If the man retires first, he will receive the full rent. The woman will receive only the minimum. So 100% is for the man and 50% for the woman. This is maybe why many people live in a concubine or even don’t marry in Switzerland.

In Japan it’s actually similar. As soon as the woman has children, her pension will be reduced. Well, it’s much more complicated, but if you want to read more about it, I recommend to research.

Lifestyle after marriage

I really want to have a good live and pay the kids (if I ever have any) a good school or even a year abroad. I think the best would be, if I work as hard as possible. On the other hand, the children need their parents. My wish is that both parents work 80% so that both of them have time to take care of the kids for at least one day per week. The father shouldn’t be just a “money giver” and the mother shouldn’t be just the “house keeper and child educator”.

Sadly there are still men who say “I only want a woman, because I need someone who cooks and does the household. I don’t mind if she wants kids. She will take care of them anyway. So I’ve got nothing to do with it.”

Think about what you want

All I need is a person who is honest, wants to make things clear, even when it hurts. When love is growing, and when the “test of living together” worked well, I am totally happy to get married. I want to live together with my partner, before marriage.

If you want to know more about the legal situation of marriage, I recommend you to read the official websites of the government.

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