Dating & Flirting in Japan

Differences in dating and flirting between CH & JP

Personally, I find this topic quite funny and weird. That is why I wanted to talk about it. Especially when comparing the behavior in different cultures it seems to be completely different and unexpected.

Tatsuya was the one who started this topic. In the beginning it was quite weird, because we realized that we seem to understand certain things different.

Out of nowhere he said that he is interested in me. As I wasn’t ready to let someone close to me at this moment I simply said:

Oh thank you, that you are honest. I like having conversations with you, too.

It sounds very cold. I have realized it as I said it. I must admit that I don’t like it when men talk about dating and flirting too soon, because I don’t feel as if they really mean it and just want to play. If you know what I mean.

Why? Is it really possible to be seriously interested in someone you only know for two months? He only knew the surface of my personality by then. And I didn’t know much about him either.

After a period of a few weeks he repeated the sentence two times more. After that he sounded really concerned:

I am worried, that you think, that I am not serious.

I gasped and took a deep breath.

I think I need to explain my behavior to you. In my culture we date someone when we know each other more. Only after then we say that we are seriously interested in someone. That is why it’s hard to believe that you really mean it.

How does dating and flirting in Japan work?

Short answer: It is different for everyone and I really don’t know every detail myself, but I am going to explain a few things I noticed.

In Japan people usually directly say if they are interested in someone and ask them for a rendezvous.

In Switzerland it’s more casual. We ask if the other person if s/he wants to do something together. And after a period of weeks we say if we are seriously interested or not. We want to know the person bevor we make a statement.

When it comes to flirting there are a few differences as well

When we smile at each other and look that person deep in the eyes, it is usually seen as flirting. In Japan however it has no meaning. That is why there are sometimes misunderstandings between European women and Japanese men.

But as I said earlier, every human is different.

 

My question to you is:

  1. Which dating and flirting difference do you know?
  2. What have you experienced?

 

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