5 Tipps for long distant relationships
5 tips for long distant relationships – international
In this series I will give a few tips and tricks about long distant relationships. It will be a small overview
What do I think about long distant relationships in general?
Honestly, I am a skeptical person, no matter what kind of relationship. Maybe it is this way, because I already know what could happen during a divorce: My parents got divorced when I was eleven or twelve years old and it took 10 years until there was some kind of peace within the family. Maybe I have prejudice about relationships.
Most of the time online relationships start very simple: as an internet friendship. At the beginning, people are skeptical to chat with strangers on skype. I too am usually careful about what I say, as on the internet bad people feel safer as it is easier to avoid confrontation and get away with things.
Also to keep in mind is the time difference. For example, 8 hours difference between Switzerland and Japan makes it difficult to find a good time to chat. Generally, I find that long distant relation ships need a different type of effort. Personally, I find the distance needs to be solved as soon as possible, in order to get to know each other better. As the German proverb says: to find out whether or not you are able to “smell each other”, get along with each other.
5 Tips for you:
- Be yourself
I often hear friends or other people say: “s/he doesn’t accept me the way I am.” When I ask why they think this way they usually say: “When we got to know each other more, I changed myself a bit to make a good impression on him/her.” – Be yourself from the beginning! Especially if you want your relationship to last long. You will be more easy-going and it is much easier to find out if the two of you fit together.
- Be honest to your partner as well as to yourself
What I want to say is: Don’t think too much about what your partner thinks about you. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. There will be less bad surprises later, when you are honest to each other. Plus honesty gives less “nutrition” for fights and quarrels.
- Show consideration
Do you know situations like this? Someone doesn’t stop talking, because s/he thinks silence is boring? A break in a conversation or thought is more important than most people think. Take your time to enjoy every moment, even silence, you spend with your partner. Love is not are race where you have to prove something.
- Ask questions
If you ask questions, instead of keep on talking randomly, it’s easier to keep a conversation. You are able to who the person, that you want to now them further. Also, when you are not afraid to ask deep questions, you quickly know if you have a similar mindset and values. What does each of you want? Open up yourself. Even if you might get vulnerable. Relationships are about deep connections.
- Stop being crazy about unrealistic stuff
Everyone has been a fan of someone or something, but if a person is talking non-stop about his/her favorite stuff it can be rather boring or even annoying. Furthermore, do not set too high goals. Take everything step by step.
My questions to you:
- What is important to you in a long distant relationship?
- What have you learned from the long distant relationship?
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